We all know we’ve told a few white lies here and there when in a relationship. Heck, there are even common lies women tell men, but, it’s also no secret that men have told us tall tales, and many of these lies are oh-so-common.
1. “I’ll call you tomorrow” – If a first date just didn’t seem to produce heart-throbbing fireworks, he’s not going to call you back. Ever. Seriously. And trust me, it’s okay! Stop wasting time replaying everything he said in your mind and don’t call your BFF to help you decide what Carrie Bradshaw’s advice would be. Just move on.
2. “Sure, I’ll still respect you if we sleep together on the first date” — The important thing here is that you respect yourself after sleeping with him. Men will say almost anything to get you into bed once they are turned on and their testosterone is pumping. If you’re the type of girl who enjoys one night stands without feeling regret, then go ahead and have sex on the first date. But, if you’re always emotionally connected to a guy after a night under the sheets and will be hurt if he never calls you back, then hop in a cab to your apartment alone.
3. “Tell me about your day” — Harsh fact, but men don’t want to hear about every little detail that happened during your day at the office. Unless you’re working for the FBI, posing for Playboy, or serve as the nanny to Jenna Jameson’s twin babies, there’s really nothing interesting men find about your work day being miserable because Emily from HR stole your favorite Greek yogurt from the office fridge, which sabotaged your weight loss efforts. Not all women participate in this type of recall process when talking about their day, but the ones who do — and yes, I’m totally guilty — should save these little dramas about that jealous bitch of a co-worker for happy hour gossip sessions with your girls.
4. “I’m not drunk” — Dude, I can smell the whiskey on your breath. And you can barely get your key into the door. Maybe guys lie about this to seem more in control of a situation or to look more responsible, but no matter his reason for lying, try to use your best judgment for your safety if he is about to drive a car or walk you home.
5. “I’m not looking to be in a relationship right now” – Translation: “I don’t want to be in a relationship with you right now.” Ladies, remember you are worthy of someone’s love, time, and affection. If this guy doesn’t want to freely give you any or all of those things, don’t waste any more energy on him or you might miss out on the guy who only wants a relationship with you.
6. “It’s not just sex” – Oh, really? Well, then you should probably do stuff other than, you know, have sex. Plans before 2am? Dinner, perhaps? If he isn’t asking you out on dates or making plans to hang out during daylight hours, he most likely sees you as a booty call.
7. “I’m leaving her for you” — If he’s still married, living with his girlfriend, or in any relationship that leaves you as the mistress, don’t just walk, but RUN away from him. If he has no problem having you as his other woman, what will stop him from cheating on you once you love birds make it official?
8. “I always wear a condom” — Sure, he might assure you that he has a clean bill of health, and heck, he might think he really does, but is it really wise to just take his word for it? Nope! Until you’re fully aware of his status, be smart and make sure he wears a condom when you are together.
9. “I love visiting your family” — He knows you love them, and he wants you to stay close with them, but with the way your mother criticizes his career choice and your father’s teasing about his love for the ever-losing Mets, he isn’t 100 percent comfortable visiting your parents back in the burbs.
10. “She’s not that pretty” — I love this lie. Feel free to continue telling me this lie.
Sarah Shaker is an ex-soap opera producer, living, writing, and dating in the East Village. After launching Bright Lights, My City, a niche NYC lifestyle blog, she began working in community management and social media. Sarah is currently working for MSNBC.com as the Regional Community Coordinator for EveryBlock.com, a hyperlocal website connecting neighbors to make their block a better place.